just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
