don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Bring me that man meat
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
