aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
