Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
