next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
