tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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