I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
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