You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
