I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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