remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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