Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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