chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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