Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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