You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
