I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
