I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
