Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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