Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
