her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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