I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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