that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
