This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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