Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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