Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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