Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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