Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
