after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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