Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
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It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
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My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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