I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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