youre lurking in front of me
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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