I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
