I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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