I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
