how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
