I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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