I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
only you would photoshop your dick
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
