You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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