We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I don't deserve a penis
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Randomize
