do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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