I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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