I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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