I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
