I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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