Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
