I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
How external is "for external use only"?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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