What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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