An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn victory sex feels great
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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