Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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