I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
