She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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