So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize