its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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