Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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