Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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