At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
