I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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