I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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