Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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