I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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