uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
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